Friends are important for all ages. God created people to live in community. We are wired to respond to both God and the people He put in our lives. Children learn social skills through their families, student years, and young adult relationships. Keep reading to see why friendships are important and how to develop them.

Personal Story

My first friend outside my family was a girl named Esther. I was going to a small country school where most of the kids were related, and many of the children excluded anyone who was not their relative. Esther and I were both “outsiders,” so we became friends. Our friendship made a huge difference in my life at school. It made the stresses a little more bearable.

Why Friendships Are Important

Friendships contributes to children’s social skills. A child learns to converse with others and be sensitive to other people’s viewpoints. Other benefits include the following:

• Having a sense of belonging and building self-confidence through friend affirmation
• Having a support system for good times or bad
• Having good behavior as children transition into young adulthood often depends on how their peers are behaving
• Having good health because close friends decrease the risk of health problems like heart attack, diabetes, and stroke.
• Help to identify when unhealthy behavior might send a friend down the wrong path
• Improved academic performance through goal setting and encouragement
• Improving coping and emotional skills
• Increase of social skills through playing together
• Lower risk of anxiety and depression due to loneliness
• Reduced levels of stress and help with coping stressful situations

Sadly, some children have harsh parents. A study found that friendships made in the early years of school can help children who suffer from the effects of bad parenting. When the child is accepted and liked by other students, the exhibited fewer of the characteristics that a harshly parented child typically exhibits.

How to Help Children Make Friends

Making friends is easy for some children, and harder for others. Here are some tips for helping children develop friendships:

• Let the child help you around the house. Having children help each other is a good practice that aids them in learning collaboration skills.
• Play games with your child to teach about taking turns and working together. These are great skills to have when making friendships.
• Read stories and talk about friendship. Ask questions about the characters to keep the child involved and observe how they are doing socially.
• Decide where to have social interaction with others. Home is a great place to start because the child is comfortable there. Having activities that keep the children active is better than them must have a lot of conversation.
• Teach your child to greet other people. Start with family members and work your way up to others in your community.
• When deciding how to develop social skills, start slow. Begin with activities that are short in duration and number of people involved and then work your way up to longer time or more people.
• Be there to support the children, but do not be overbearing. Let the kids spend time with each other.
• Be a good example. Take time to develop your own friendships and model friendly behaviors for your child.
• Watch who your child is making friends with. Ask open-ended questions to get an understanding. Whether young or old, notice and care about your child’s life.

The friends that high school age and young adults choose to be close to may have a greater influence on them than other kids their age. If best friends abstain from using cigarettes, alcohol, or drugs, the child il more likely to do the same. By college days, children may not have their parents around as much. Supportive friends are important during this time. Often, a person’s closest friends help lead them down the pathway to who they will come to be.

Action

Friendships are important for emotional, physical, and social growth. Parents can take time to listen to their children and encourage activities that help them develop solid friendships, some of which will continue into adulthood.

May God bless your healthful endeavors!

Joni

P.S. What do you remember about your childhood friends?