I remember when I was a teenager, I was very anxious about many things, like going to school or social events; talking with my teachers about the things I didn’t understand; or navigating friendships. I was a quiet girl, which didn’t help the situation at all. Sometimes I felt so much pressure, probably self-imposed, to try to make friends, maintain relationships, and do well in school. I didn’t know how to handle the pressure, so this caused me a lot of anxiety. Today’s teenagers seem to have even more things beyond friendships to be anxious about. They watch the news stories about politics, wars, and weather calamities, etc. and struggle with the weight of it all. We are aware of more and more things going on in the world every day. Violence and bullying in schools happen and are reported often in the news. It’s a very different world than when I grew up. It’s important for a parent to be able to spot signs of pressure and anxiety in their teens so they can help a teen who is not handling pressure or anxiety well learn to reverse their anxiety.

Signs of Anxiety in Teens

Anxiety tends to occur when the things that are happening to us are “out of our control.” Teens experience things that they cannot control. Sometimes a parent is not aware that their teens are struggling with anxiety and need a little, or a lot of, help.  Parents can learn to spot pressure and anxiety in teens when they might show physical, mental, or social signs when their pressure and anxiety increases.

• Physical Signs- Jumpiness or fidgeting; unusual eating habits or disordered eating; sleep problems, including trouble falling or staying asleep; and substance abuse, self-harm, or other risky behaviors.
• Mental Signs- Negative self-talk; intense moods such as irritability, tearfulness, and/or frequent anger outbursts.
• Social Signs- Academic struggles that are not normal for them; avoiding certain situations or activities; and/or changes in social behavior.

Symptoms of Anxiety in Teens

The difference between the SIGNS and the SYMPTOMS of anxiety is that the signs can be observed by others and the symptoms may not be apparent unless the teen talks to the parent about their inner world.

• Physical Symptoms- Restlessness, edginess, and inability to relax. Physical complaints including muscle pain, stomach aches, nausea and headaches.
• Mental Symptoms- Feeling overwhelmed by worries that are out of proportion; catastrophizing or fearing the worst case outcome; having memory struggles, having difficulty focusing or concentrating; experiencing panic attacks; and fearing the future.
• Social Symptoms- Having feelings of worthlessness or a reluctance to attend school due to anxiety about social interactions.

Do you see the difference between the signs and the symptoms?

How to Help Your Teen

Teach your teens to embrace discomfort and break the avoidance cycle. In other words, they need to stop avoiding things that make them anxious because avoiding them can keep the anxiety going and even make it worse. A diagram called Reversing the Cycle of Anxiety, from simplyspycology.org, is helpful. Reversing the cycle looks like this: A teen confronts a feared situation, which may cause a slight increase in anxiety in the short term. Then they use coping skills and find that anxiety will reduce to a manageable level. This leads to increased confidence in their ability to manage their own responses to the situation. Then they start the cycle again with a different situation.

Here are some practical tips:

• Help them set realistic goals by starting with small, realistic, and achievable goals like making a new friend or joining a club in which they have interest.
• Help them learn relaxation techniques that work for them. This could include activities such as box breathing, taking a walk outside, listening to music, drawing, or journaling.
• Educate your teens about why they feel anxiety, so they understand the physical changes that happen during times of stress. Teach them about the “fight or flight” response and the stress hormones involved in times of anxiety. This can be helpful to normalize their responses and understanding that what they are feeling is normal.

Keeping the communication lines open between you and your teens is the best way to spot growing pressure or anxiety in your teens.

Action Step

After becoming familiar with the signs and symptoms of pressure and anxiety, you will be able to spot them in your teens and then learn the skills they need to handle any pressure or anxiety they may face in their lives.

May God bless you on your wellness journey!

Joni

P.S. What experience do you have with anxiety? How have you learned to cope?

Resources:

https://www.carinocounseling.com/blog/teen-anxiety-understanding-the-signs-causes-and-treatment

https://www.carinocounseling.com/blog/teen-anxiety-understanding-the-signs-causes-and-treatment